After a lovely R&R in Hawaii, it's time to head back to work. Turtle has gotten 4 tickets for the flight. (Natasha apparently didn't want to fly the guys back to L.A.) However, 3 of the tickets had to be coach in order to get the earlier flight. Who goes first class? Eric doesn't care, and Vince decides that he will not play the star card this time. Vince decides to "pick a number" with Johnny and Turtle, but Drama protests, thinking Vince will subconsciously favor Turtle. Vince tries another tack: he asks the driver of the cab to settle it. Apparently, Vince and the driver connect on some kind of spiritual plane, because the driver subconsciously prefers Turtle as well.
It certainly doesn't take long for Turtle to enjoy the trappings of first class. However, a woman is trying to flag down the flight attendant. The fact she calls the flight attendanct a "f***ing c*nt" would indicate she hasn't had much success. She's none too thrilled with Turtle laughing at her, but he didn't mean it that way. The woman just wants a drink and an aisle seat, which they did not have. Turtle does some finagling with another passenger, and the woman, Jamie, gets her aisle seat. She apologizes to Turtle and explains she just broke up with her boyfriend. Also, she must not have been able to get her dad, Tony Soprano, to have any pull with the airline to get her that aisle seat. (Yes, it's Jamie-Lynn Sigler, AKA Meadow Soprano.) Although impressed with her work, Turtle plays it cool and gets her a couple of scotches. Back in coach, Eric and Vince are doing fine Vince even receives a compliment from a fan who thinks Vince flying in coach is cool. However, Drama is stuck between the two pieces of hell in a plane's coach section: a crying baby and a VERY large person.
Back at Ari's office, the secret is clearly out. Lloyd is calling him a "traitor" for an offer fax from John Ellis for $10 million, and Ari is on the front cover of Variety. At LAX, Turtle is helpful with Jamie's bags, and Drama is doing a slow burn over flying coach for 5 hours while Turtle is getting a phone number. Turtle is playing it very coy, and this does not go unnoticed by the guys. Vince is supportive, but Drama is not expecting Turtle to close escrow and is not afraid to tell Turtle that.
"99% of the world's average-looking citizens can't get a hot looking actress, so don't feel so bad, Turtle."
Turtle is getting pretty mad now, so he tells Drama exactly what happened: Jamie jerked him off (the good kind, not the kind the IRS does). While Drama is all over himself calling Turtle a liar, E gets a call from Josh Weinstein. With Ari primed to take the studio head position, Josh immediately tries to swoop in and grab Vince. Ignoring E's insistence that Ari is still their agent, Josh has set up a meeting for Vince with Frank Darabont, the man behind "The Shawshank Redemption," for a lead role for Vince. Meanwhile, Ari is discussing the $10 million offer with Mrs. Ari. The money is $4 million more than they were expecting. However, there are a lot of people who don't want Ari to leave MGA, and one of them walks in the door. Lloyd has E on the phone, and in spite of Ari's insistence that he'll call back later, Lloyd is taking a stand.
"I've been putting your calls through for 3 years now, and I haven't interrupted or given you my opinion, even when I know I can steer your mind into greener pastures...If you think working for some conglomerate is going to fulfill you, then fine. But don't think I would make myself a little corporate bitch. And even if I did, your little homosexual quips would not be allowed in a publicly-traded company! People need you here. I'll leave you with that."
Ari is not happy that Lloyd is "throwing around a lot of Jew guilt for a Chinaman," but Mrs. Ari suddenly agrees with Lloyd. The one thing that keeps Ari tolerating all the stress he has, according to her, is that fact that nobody can tell him what to do. "But you always tell me what to do! So...tell me what to do." Mrs. Ari won't do that, so Ari goes scientific and flips a coin. Then two out of three...
As Vince and E wait for Josh and Frank, Drama suggests several possibilities for finding out the truth about Turtle and Jamie, including involving the FBI and that "Moment of Truth" show on Fox. But they can continue to argue as Eric and Vince go for their meeting. Frank starts talking about a film he's doing in the Greek Isles: "School of Athens." Vince and E are more than impressed, but there is no role in the movie for Vince, or any other male under 45. Josh conveniently forgot to tell them this, as well as the fact that the offer for Vince is the lead in a TV series which Frank is executive producing. Suffice it to say, Josh has managed to tick off everybody at the table in under two minutes. Josh tries to defend himself by saying that lots of movie stars have done TV, although using George Clooney as an example was ill-conceived: "You didn't see Leo in that Growing Pains reunion, did you?" opines Turtle. Josh thinks the better of it and leaves before becoming the meat of a four-way knuckle sandwich.
Ari is getting it from all sides at the office. His clients keep calling, Barbara Miller demands his share of the company at only 10 cents on the dollar, and Dana Gordon is demanding that Ari appoint her as his #2 person at the studio. Ari says he doesn't think he'll take the job. Lloyd is happy, Barbara still thinks he's a scumbag, and Dana informs him that Amanda Daniels would be the next in line to take the studio position if Ari turns it down. Clearly, Ari would have a major problem letting Amanda have the job, as MGA and Vince would be dead in the water if she takes over. Ari comes up with a strategy. He goes over to Amanda's to bury the hatchet and try a deal: he'll step aside on the studio job if she puts Vince in "Smokejumpers." She decides that she doesn't need anything from him and refuses to make deals with him. Given her past with Vince, she also tells him that he can kiss his "once-upon-a-time movie star" goodbye. She played the wrong card: insisting that Ari wouldn't take the job propels Ari to take the job just to spite her.
As Ari heads into the meeting with Ellis, the boys are contemplating what's next. They know they can't get Smokejumpers without Ari becoming studio head, but they also realize that they'd have another Josh Weinstein for an agent once Ari does go to the studio. Turtle is 2 for 2 on the conversation, pointing out that Frank Darabont wasn't 100% sure he could get Vince and that once Vince does Smokejumpers, he's back on the movie track. After five unreturned phone calls, the boys decide to ambush Ari at his office.
As Ari returns to his office, a depressed Lloyd lets the boys in. (Although Drama telling him about Turtle and Jamie lightened his mood a bit.) Ari gets on the phone with Dana Gordon: the new head of Warner's, thanks to Ari's recommendation to Ellis when he declines the position. She calls to celebrate her new title and to tell Vince he's on Smokejumpers. This time, Dana actually tells Ari she loves him (can't say how much on a public forum).
Everybody heads out to celebrate, although Lloyd still isn't getting his promotion. Suddenly, Jamie-Lynn Sigler shows up. In spite of the fact that even Ari doesn't believe Jamie would jerk a guy "built like a South Park character," Jamie throws a drink in Turtle's face for telling everybody in town that she jerked him off. Drama tries to apologize to Jamie for everything that happened and pretends he made all of it up, but she's not having any of it. She's especially upset because she thought Turtle was so nice, she had jerked him on the airplane (and would have eventually slept with him). Drama apologizes profusely to Turtle for his actions.
On the bright side, everything is back to normal: Vince is a star, Ari is still his agent, and Turtle still can't get any.
